Me (at work): This is Lauren.
Robbie (17): Mom?
Robbie: How old do you have to be to get a tattoo?
Me: Excuse me?
Robbie: A tattoo? How old do you have to be?
Me: You're not getting a tattoo so, I guess, ummm, 37.
Robbie: But mom, some of my friends have them.
Me (resisting the urge to say "well, if all your friends were to jump off a bridge...yada yada): No.
Robbie: Even if it is a meaningful tattoo?
Me: Define "meaningful".
Robbie: Mommmm...pleeeeeease! I wanna a tattoo!
Robbie: Fine. Can I get my tongue pierced?
Me: No. Goodbye Robbie.
Robbie: But Mom! Wait!!